My apologies for not blogging for the past week. I have been so very exhausted. I haven’t had much energy to think alone, much less post thoughts in a blog.
I’m used to working a nice 15 hour workweek and…being pretty lazy. Not here. I think being in the sun all the time is part of it, but mostly it’s the manual labor. Farm work is hard, but it is so liberating to do hard manual labor. I’ve felt more productive in the last week than I have in the past 4 months of my life. It helps to know that the work you’re doing is actually benefitting the community (and not just putting money into the pocket of a corporation). If each person didn’t do their assorted jobs, the whole community would suffer. It’s wonderful.
Well, where to start? Millard Fuller (who started and Habitat for Humanity and Fuller Center for Housing) died last monday, and they buried him here on the farm. I helped dig his grave. It was an odd experience. I’m really sad that I never got to meet him ( he was going to do a workshop with my intern class) but the man’s life story is quite inspiring. Google him.
Speaking of death, I’m due to slaughter a goose soon. I’ll either become a vegan after the experience or have a better appreciation for meat. We’ll see.
So, the farm is very much about sustainable living, permaculture, and re-using just about EVERYTHING. There’s even a composting toilet. If you don’t know what that is, just know it has something to do with using your own poop to fertilize the farm. There are a lot of people here who are ALL about sustainable living- and I feel i have a lot to learn about their convictions.
To be honest I don’t plan on sharing their convictions. I see the evils within the pastoral system, farming corporations, etc. but I’m here to focus on the community, not the farming. i dont think i have enough energy to take up the cause of sustainable farming (not in Long Beach, no less) on top of feeling called to plant a community without knowing where to start. i barely have energy to think about either as it is.
I do think that God is going to use this time to draw my attention to a lot of places in my own heart that are hindering me from following Him more closely (amen!). Things have been a bit dark spiritually for me for the past few weeks, and I haven’t been understanding a lot of my own feelings or actions. I could really use some prayer. and guidance. It’s hard leaving a system of mentorship and accountability that had been so healthy and life-giving. I suppose when you commit yourself to relationships within a community (Grace, in my case), there must be expected repercussions when you leave those relationships behind, even for only a season. If you’re reading this I love you all very much.
My roomate’s name is Blake. He reminds me of my old friend, Jared Freitag mixed with the white guy from Half Baked. He’s an interesting dude. It turns out we really know how to make each other laugh. really hard. Other than that we haven’t had any really beefy conversation so i can’t say I really know him, but I’m enjoying living with him.
I talked with a guy who lives here named Nash, who’s aobut 53. He’s a ‘peace clown’. He went to Patch Adams’ school and everything. He and I started brainstorming about what a community could look like in Long Beach and it really really got me excited. Communal living can take so many different forms, and just brainstorming was warming to my heart. It was a small but important first step in forming a vision for the future community there. I need to start praying a lot more about it. all in time.
I’m exhausted and don’t even know if anything I’m typing is making sense, so I’m going to stop. But please, be praying for me. Pray that I would experience rest and peace (as I’ve been quite restless lately) and that God would be giving me direction.
thanks
Drew
